Beyond Henshaws: Tess’s 5-Year Journey

It is now almost five years since student Tess left home and moved into assisted living accommodation, following her graduation from Henshaws College. Her mum Kate shares an update from the family in our latest blog.

Building new relationships

Tess has formed wonderful friendships with, most, of her other house mates and is a popular and valued member of her new team!

She has also enjoyed some great relationships with staff members, who come, then go. She has learned to adapt well to having new people in her life, and watching them, leave and move on. She understands that her family, although not always around, are still here, forming that safe and brilliant “background noise” which is so important to all of us.

For the first few years we always saw her weekly, sometimes twice weekly, although looking back, that was probably more for our benefit than for hers!

Life during the pandemic

During the Pandemic, her lock down was cataclysmic at first. Through careful negotiations, isolation and rigorous testing she was able to visit home throughout and stay over for birthdays, Christmas and special occasions. We were even able to take her on holiday. This contact was vital for her, but as the charity shops, swimming pools and that place with the golden arches began to open up once more, her life began to feel normal again.

New additions to the family

Tess also became an Aunty; we became grandparents, and with both our sons living in Scotland, and having ailing parents ourselves, life became extra busy. We usually see her once a fortnight now and it is working so well. We receive weekly updates from her home, and are always at the end of an email or phone call if anything unusual crops up in her world. For the rest of the time, we do not always know what she gets up to, and nor should we! She shops, bakes, eats in and out, visits the seaside and leads a full and interesting life. She is always pleased to see us and less would appear to mean more. We spend quality time, doing lovely things, in much the same way as we do with our boys, whenever we cross the border.

Looking back

I look back on her time at college with huge fondness and gratitude. It was our experiences in this haven, which gave us the confidence to plan for the independent existence, which Tess, and we so richly deserve.

I am sincerely hoping that it will be some years yet before she has to face a world without us, but I also know that she will be able to!